Parliament to be privatised in Thatcher’s memory

Pride's Purge

(satire – probably)

MPs and peers will return to Westminster from the Easter recess on Wednesday as parliament is recalled to debate the planned privatisation of both the House of Commons and the House of Lords in honour of the former prime minister Margaret Thatcher.

However, in a blow to Ed Miliband – who has instructed his MPs to follow his lead in responding to the privatisation in a respectful manner – David Winnick Labour MP for Walsall North said it would be “absolutely hypocritical” if parliament did not hear all sides of the argument to sell themselves off in memory of Baroness Thatcher’s legacy.

Inside sources say Russian oligarch Anton Zingarevich is particularly interested in buying up the House of Commons including all of its MPs as a package (with the exception of Nadine Dorries who is expected to be sold off to an Australian Kangaroo reserve for use as a toilet roll holder)…

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